As the priming date proceeds, you’ll want to do things that convey your romantic interest, and which pique hers. Every moment of the priming date won’t be taken up with romantic talk. For most women, that would appear strange. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask her about her job, family, and so forth. At some point in the conversation, though, you are going to want to take a deep breath, get into a physical position of confidence, and do the following things:
Touch her at least five times
Touching a woman casually and nonintrusively establishes a precedent that will help you touch her more intimately later. It gets her used to accepting your touch, and even shows her that it can feel good. These touches are quick, gentle, and over with before she has a chance to get uncomfortable. You may touch her arm for a moment when talking, to emphasize a particular point, or touch her back while directing her to your table. Sometimes men get flustered, and find they have forgotten how to do this simple thing. It’s easy; as you gesture with your body, there are times when your hands are far from your body. Those are the moments to push one hand a bit farther, and to touch her.Touch her hand at least once. This touch is a bit more intimate, a bit more intrusive. You simply put your hand on hers for a moment to emphasize some point you are making, look into her eyes, then take it away.
Make decisions easily
We’ve talked about this before, and will only touch on it now to remind you of its importance. Being decisive is attractive. Being indecisive is unattractive. Choose.
Look into her eyes “too long”
This creates a moment of intimacy that shows her your romantic interest. You should look into her eyes when you are talking to her, at least from time to time. It’s not a staring contest, and hard, long stares are commonly considered aggressive. But even if you are in the habit of never looking into a woman’s eyes when you interact with her, you should at least do it occasionally. It shows her you aren’t scared and, if you do it in a relaxed manner, shows her you are willing to be open and honest with her.
Once during the date, you should establish eye contact, and hold it for a fraction of a second longer than is comfortable, then look away to some other part of her face. This is especially intimate and romantic. It’s a subtle way of getting her to open her “personal space” to you that prepares her for opening up even more, later.
Check out her body one time
Wait, wait! Before you ogle at her like a stripper at a bar, let us explain to you how to check out a woman’s body without offending her. It’s a weird dichotomy. On the one hand, women are offended if you ogle their bodies. On the other hand, they go out of their way to make their bodies attractive to look at. If you look the wrong way,
she may be offended. If you don’t, however, you run the risk of Giving the impression that you aren’t interested in her sexually. YOU handle this problem by looking at her body quickly. Start by looking in her eyes, then quickly, in less than a second, let your eyes sweep over her body. Then return to her eyes. By returning to her eyes, you
show her that you are not ashamed of having looked at her body, and that you still want to connect with her. Do this once or twice (but not more) during your conversation with her, and it will help reinforce the romantic mood.
Wink at her one time
Winking creates a little moment of intimacy between you and someone else. Have you ever had a woman wink at you? You shared a special connection, a momentary little world just for the two of you. When you wink at a woman, you do this for her. Make the wink fast; it’s not like lowering a garage door. And smile; it’s not some big significant event.
Ask your romantic questions
The first step to having romantic conversations is asking your romantic questions. If you never do this, she is much less likely to think of you as potential romantic material, and you may find yourself in the “friend” category once again. Just open your mouth and say the lines you’ve memorized, even if you are uncomfortable. You can only start at the beginning and go from there,
Manage romantic conversations
Draw out her responses by asking the conversation-extending questions which you, of course, memorized before the date. You’ll probably find this part easier than you think. When a person starts telling you about her peak experiences, it’s easy to become genuinely interested. When she returns the questions, and asks you about your romantic peaks, be ready to tell her about them by describing lush romantic feelings.
Keep your body powerful
Keep sitting like you are fascinated and fascinating. Use “seduction”words Some words are more romantic than others. Words like “urine” or “foreclosure” are less romantic than words like “seduced,” “attracted,” “romance,” or “love.” You want to use romantic words in your conversation as much as you can, without looking like you are crazy. This means using the words more than you are comfortable with, but allowing other conversation to happen as well, Here’s a list of romantic words and phrases. You may find others to add to this partial list:
Falling in love
Warm and safe
Feeling in your body
Whisper or change vocal tone one time. While this isn’t appropriate on all priming dates, if things are going well, it can help push the romantic interaction to the next level. Whispering to her is powerful for a number of reasons. First, when you whisper, you command her attention more fully. If she doesn’t pay attention, she’ll miss what you are saying. Second, when you whisper, you create a little world that is for the two of you only. Third, you have to get closer to her to whisper. If you lean across the
table to whisper, your mouth can get perilously close to her ear. It’s intimate, yet easy for her to accept. This makes it easier for her to accept your romantic approaches later.
Compliment her three times
In the film An American President, the President, played by Michael Douglas, was about to go on his first date since his wife died. His daughter advised him to “compliment her shoes. Girls like that.” Mystified, he complied, much to the pleasure of his date. Women love to have their looks noticed and complimented. They work hard and long to look good for us. Why not notice it? Obviously, your compliments won’t be too sexual in nature. “Your breasts look so great in that outfit, I can hardly keep my hands off them” is only one step above professing a fascination with serial killers in terms of destroying any possible romance. Try complimenting her shoes, if they are at all nice. Tell her she has a wonderful sense of style, or a beautiful smile. Find something and praise it.
The only exception to this rule: if a woman is extremely beautiful, and knows it, a man complimenting her is nothing unusual. In fact, some such women may hold it against you if you do. One woman told us, “A guy compliments my body. Great. Another guy who wants me. How original. Who cares?” If you must compliment them, find something unusual to focus on. Oscar met Sheila at a global warming lecture. She was staggeringly beautiful. He didn’t want to just be another guy groveling before her good looks. On their priming date he told her, “You know, you’re real pretty and everything, but when I knew I had to meet you was when you asked that question at the lecture. I said to myself, ‘I’ve got to know this woman.'” He managed to compliment her on something unusual,her intelligence—while still acknowledging her good looks. She was impressed, rather than simply throwing his compliment on the pile with all the others.
Like “have a good attitude,” “have fun” is one of those commands that people give you without ever telling you how to do it. We suggest that, on the priming date, you remember that one of the purposes of going is to have fun, and that if the opportunity arises to actually enjoy yourself, you should take it. Study all these guidelines
before the date, but on the date, let yourself relax and forget them from time to time. If you’ve studied first, your brain will be able to keep you on track. While this is work, it shouldn’t be laborious. Remembering to have fun can help.